Every woman you meet isn’t going to be the one or even someone you have any interest on pursuing something serious with. You already know this. You’re still young and trying to get things in order. Sure, deep down we all want companionship. But that’s not the type of time you’re on right now. You’ll get there.
So you go through the motions. Play the game, leave a few hearts broken, become the inspiration behind a few IG memes that ooze all sorts of hurt. It happens. If it was up to you everything would run smooth and painlessly. No disagreements. Just mutual arrangements. But there’s a disconnect between men and women that could probably be reconciled through effective communication, but rarely ever is. So you find yourself as the bad guy and the asshole more often than not, but you’ve gotten used to it.
But then you meet your match. She’s that unicorn that speaks your language because the two of your on the exact same page reading the same paragraph. She’s not on this never ending mission to find love. Her life isn’t love. Her love is life. She’s just living free of boundaries, chains, titles and most importantly commitments to anyone but herself. Those hold her back as far as she’s concerned.
In fact she might be a commitment phobe. She’s no different from you. She’s focused on her career, her passions and living her best life. She’s flying free and no man is going to change that for the foreseeable future
She doesn’t like labels. She’s not a hoe. She doesn’t fancy the term freak, either. She considers herself a devout feminist and feels women deserve the right to live their lives free of double standards, stigmas and labels the same way men do. She’s right. She’s comfortable in her own skin and won’t let anybody break her though many have tried.
You’re one of the lucky guys that she’s allowed to infiltrate her life and possibly even penetrate her soul. Consider yourself blessed. This is going to be a hell of an experience and you can have the most stress free and enjoyable time of your life and possibly grow as a man if you play your cards right. She’ll teach you a lot and if you’re really on your shit, you can teach her a lot too. It’s can be one of the most fullfilling experiences you’ll have with a woman if you follow these simple guidelines.
Treat her with the utmost respect at all times.
In other words give her the D but don’t be one. This should go without saying. While you know that she’s probably not somebody who’s probably going to have your heart in a romantic way in the long run, that doesn’t mean she’s anything less than a lady. Never shame her under any circumstances. She’s not your hoe, your bitch, your THOT, your jumpoff or anything of the such. She’s someone’s daughter, sister, cousin, niece and friend. Just because she’s not living her life according to the constraints that society has placed on women doesn’t take anything away from who she is as a person. She’s entrusted you with her mind and body, and to an extent a part of her heart. At the end of the day you’re still a man and when she’s with you, you have a responsibility at the very least to take of her heart and protect her dignity. You are not to tear her down. Also don’t be afraid to be nice every now and then. Offer to take her out sometimes Bring her flowers as a gesture to let her know that she’s safe and free to be a lady when she’s with you.
Just Don’t Catch Feelings.
But do remember who you’re dealing with, playa. She probably reminds you of a female version of yourself. She’s incredibly dope, smart, witty, passionate, adventurous and can hold a convo about anything. It’s super easy to find yourself falling for this type. But the key here is…don’t. Just don’t. She has a lot of shit going on and a lot of shit going for her. She’s only going to be ready to settle down, whenever SHE’s ready. It’s usually a process. You may or may not be her prince charming or her knight in shining armour. But even if you are, she’s more than likely not trying to go down that road. Plus, you are NOT the only one in her life. Keep that in mind if and when you start feeling those butterflies. Put those insects in check. Because you best believe that in the event that she does start catching feelings for you, she will promptly put her feelings in check. You can be nice and enjoy someone without being in love with them. It’s possible and if you want this situation to go smoothly, it’s mandatory.
Keep Your Options Open
Do you. Because she damn sure does her. You’re most likely not the only one in her catalogue so always keep that in mind. Don’t put all your eggs in her basket, because she’s not the type to have all her eggs in anyone’s basket. Her eggs are hers. Make sure you have maybe one or two other young ladies you have some access to, or some interest in on your side as well. You don’t necessarily have to be fucking them, but it’s best to have them there. Don’t be afraid to go out and spend time with other women. It’ll keep pressure on both of you guys as low as possible and keep the morale when you guys are together high.
Give her space.
That clingy shit is a no go with her, playboy. It’s actually the quickest way to get snipped from her roster. You have other options and you should at the very least be exercising them in some form.. You also have other shit you need to be doing to, like living life and getting your own life together. That’s exactly what she’s doing and you don’t want to get in her way. So don’t let her get in yours either. When it’s time for you guys to come together that’s when you guys come together. Don’t be that overzealous dude. That’s a terrible look. Terrible.
She’s doing exactly that. Having fun. Her life is lit! One day she’ll get to a point where she wants to slow down a little bit. But today isn’t that day. She’s still in her twenties and has her whole life ahead of her. She just wants to have fun and you know you do too. So have it with her. Enjoy the time you guys spend together. Talk about dope shit, do dope shit and have great sex. Just keep your feelings out of it.
Lay it down!
Speaking of having great sex, she’s decided to trust you with her body so don’t take that for granted. Lay it down properly when she wants you to and she just might be the one to lose control of her feelings. It’s not likely, but better her than you, right? Either way you can make your life a lot easier if you just put it down between the sheets the way she wants you to. She’ll make sure to always fit you in her schedule. When she needs it, guess who she’ll call, first? You. It’ll make all of the aforementioned guidelines all the much easier to follow if you do what you’re supposed to do in bed (or in the floor, or wherever else).
Be careful, however. If you lay it down too well she might just not know how to act. If you do it so good it throws her world off of its axis, you may just end up with a crazy situation on your hands. Tread lightly.
Pictures courtesy of: ‘She’s Gotta Have It’ On Netfix
‘A Thin Line Between Love and Hate’ — New Line Cinema